Separation Anxiety
We are familiar with the term anxiety - but do you know that within the broad category of anxiety there are several types of anxieties that we may be struggling with in life?
One such type is called separation anxiety.
This type of anxiety can be a problem of its own but it’s generally combined with other types of anxieties.
It can also be a symptom of a larger problem that has got built up over the years.
The root of this anxiety is often due to bonding issues that we have had with our primary caregivers during our infant, toddler and childhood stages.
If parents were not always present with us when we were very young - due to work, other responsibilities or marital issues, then we tend to grow up to be emotionally insecure adults.
At an age when we needed a lot of support from our caregivers, they were unable to give us that security that they will always be there for us to support us when we needed them
As a result, we could not form secure attachment with our primary caregivers.
In those early years we always had an uncertainty of their presence to support us.
This then develops into a separation anxiety problem later in life.
As an adult we then begin to be insecure in all our relationships - based on the model we have experienced as a child with our primary caregivers.
We tend to look at all our adult relationships also through those lenses and think that they will leave us at any moment.
This will make us to pull people into a relationship and then to push people away for a period of time and then to pull them in and then to push them back on a regular basis - in order to feel safe from our own insecurities and fears and to feel less abandoned when we think they are going to leave us – when in the other person’s mind that was not even a thought!
This can also make us extremely independent adults who don’t want to depend on anyone for anything.
Again this is the way we try to protect ourselves from this constant perceived false thought that the people in our relationships can leave us at any moment – when in reality they may be the most dependable people.
If you are experiencing constant fear of getting close to or of losing the person in your significant relationships, a private community online/offline for emotional and relational support may be just what you need to heal and recover.
Amid current circumstances, an E-community might just be the ideal platform for that!